Starting over

{ Wednesday, August 17, 2011 }
I'm starting over with Islam. I'm not willing to let it go just yet.


I think I've seen too much bad behavior of Muslims, which left me feeling disgusted.


I've come across some moderate sites and readings, and for the first time I regained some of my energy to try again, and to defy extremism and salafism. 


I don't know where this will lead me, but the intention is definitely there.


Oh yes, thank God for the blogs on Islamic feminism ;-)



14 comments:

Ʋƨɐɠɪ ❤ said...

Masha'allah!!! Looking forward to hearing about it~ you should share the sites.

Bonnie said...

I have felt like you do on many, many occasions. My solution for now is to just stay away from the Muslim community and crazy websites until I can establish for myself what is culture and what is Islam. Find and read the Quranic verses and Hadiths which promote Allah's love for us and just go from there.

Almost a Muslimah said...

good luck with it! wherever it takes you :-) the most important thing is to be true to yourself

ArabLeila said...

I pray you find your way through this and reach what you find is beautiful.

My journey ended with me leaving Islam; still acknowledging the beauty in it, still loving my mother's prayers, the rhythm sound of the recited Qur'an still familiar to my ears, but Islam itself, as a "way of life", as a "true religion" no longer continues with me.

Best of luck in finding your Truth, wherever it is, whatever it is. Wherever beauty lies, there lies God.

MarieHarmony said...

Glad to read this Safiyah. I think sometime we have to start again from the beginning - there are so many bad influences around - extremism that can guide us on different roads. But there are good people too who are keen to share with an open mind.

I am a passionate so I understand you. I would always like answers right now or I let go of everything but as the time goes I tend to stay patient and ask God to guide me.
Strangely enough I was reading something on Christianity this morning and it did not make any sense any more. We all have questions and once we acknowledge we don't have all the answers we can start a new journey, even if it means restarting all over again.
Take care and may God guides you wherever you meant to be. xx

Ovais said...

Insha Allah, what is best for you will happen =)

Safiyah said...

Thank you Ʋƨɐɠɪ, Bonnie, Almost, ArabLeila, Marie and Ovais, for your nice words and support :) It's very hard to stay strong sometimes, because you get so much opposition, from your non-muslim surroundings and from the muslim community, where extremism and judgement are gaining more and more ground. It's a relief to see that there are still sane Muslims, books and websites out there, that give me a renewed love for Islam.

Anonymous said...

http://islam.thetruecall.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1

Anonymous said...

WHO IS EXTREMIST or TERRORIST?.

ask GEORGE GALLOWAY :

http://www.youtube.com/user/ndabdofari

Anonymous said...

I too ended up leaving Islam. regretting the decades I spent in a Muslim country. Good Luck to you though


Read the posts in this forum. You might find them annoying at first but they speak alot of truth you will not find in apologetic "moderate" blogs :
http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=9243.0

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?action=forum

Anonymous said...

Assalamu alaikum.
This American sister left islam three months ago,by practicing it for many years.but came back to ISLAM three days back realizing she did a mistake.

watch her reciting Qur'an after coming back to the deen.

http://www.youtube.com/user/americanmuslimgirl

Banana Anne said...

Alhamdulillah, I'm glad to hear that you're giving it another chance. Like you said, it can be very frustrating when we're bombarded with Islamophobic rhetoric from mainstream media as well as Salafi dogma from websites and other Muslims. Blogs, in-depth study, and constantly striving to find the real truths in the Qur'an have strengthened my iman much more than being lectured at and reading about how everything is haram.

Noshi said...

Best of luck, sister. May Allah bring you peace. Ameen! Just remember, Allah above all is Most Merciful. And so is His System.

Nikki said...

I am soooo late but alhumdullilah, masha'Allah, mabrook! I have been away from blogging for quite some time and when I left off you were at the lowest in your iman. I have had similar feelings although I never acted on them, but now, masha'Allah, even though I still struggle with things like praying on time, always turning down that non-zabiha cheeseburger, or wearing hijab around my parents I am more comfortable in Islam as "my personal faith" than I ever have been. In the beginning my arguments for Islam were mainly logical, as in, I had lost my belief in the trinity and Islam best filled the void that was left. Now, though, I have a much deeper and fulfilling understanding of Islam and am no longer so "shook" when Muslims have beliefs that contradict mine. I have found that my real life experiences with Muslims have led me to much more moderate (and by moderate I don't mean non-practicing, or even non-hijab wearing, but rather tolerant and understanding) Muslims than the Internet led me to believe was out there. I have yet to meet the haram police in real life, yet they spring up everywhere on the Internet. It is good to be at such comfort with your beliefs that scare tactics no longer make you second guess yourself. :) (Isn't it ironic that probably the number one reason for people -leaving- Islam is Muslims themselves who think they are better judges than Allah (swt)). Astaghfirullah!

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