Back in Belgium

{ Tuesday, January 24, 2012 }
So my Egyptian adventure has ended. I returned to Belgium on the 21st of January. I thought I would be happier to be back, but I still don't feel quite at home. I miss Egypt, while I didn't even know I enjoyed being there. I should probably give myself more time to adjust to my old life in Belgium, but somehow I feel I don't want this old life anymore. A life of feeling insecure and dependent on others. Maybe the bad weather has got something to do with it too. 

I was happy to see my friends and family, but somehow I don't like the Belgian atmosphere anymore. I need something different. Now I feel like I haven't felt at home my whole life. Again, maybe I just need more time and everything will be fine in the end. Still, I can't help wondering: do we have a kind of destiny in life? A place where we belong, and we won't feel at ease until we have found it? I don't necessarily feel I want to go back to Egypt, but I do very strongly feel like I need to go somewhere else than my native country. My thoughts now foremost turn to Saudi, because the family of the man I love live there and I'm eager to visit them. Although I find it hard to believe that I could "belong" in that country, I am curious to see how life is like there for myself. 

My future still feels very vague, I don't even know what I want to do next year or where I'll be! If I choose to start another 4-year study, it might seriously delay living together with my partner.  I also don't really feel like studying another 4 years. Maybe I can choose a master after master? But then I have to write another thesis. Another option I was considering is going to Saudi for a year to study Arabic there and maybe work as an English teacher. But then again, the only way for me at this moment to be able to go to Saudi is to be married officialy to my partner, and I'm not. Last time I checked they didn't even issue tourist visas. So this plan might be slightly problematic. 

Anyhow, I want to thank everyone who commented on my previous post about my laptop getting stolen. Your words are greatly appreciated!


❤ αmαℓ said...

Go wherever your heart tells you to go :) You've only got one life, dear.

MarieHarmony said...

I think it takes some time to get used to your country again after spending a long time away. But as Amal said follow your heart and go wherever your heart finds peace. May God helps you find your place.
Take care Safiyah and happy to read you again!

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