How to find a balance?

{ Sunday, February 26, 2012 }
Assalaamu aleykum :)


This post is no advise, I'm afraid, because it's something I'm struggling with myself at the moment.
Sometimes I read hadiths and ayaat from the Quran and I think that it's really easy to get into Paradise, as long as you repent and do your best to be a good Muslim. But then I find other verses and hadiths that make it sound so difficult. For example, I heard that everyone who still has a tiny bit of arrogance in their hearts will not enter Paradise. I'm afraid, because I still have arrogance and ego. Not excessively, but it's still there, of course. I think most people have it in some way or the other. 
I'm not complaining, because I know that Allah swt is the Most Wise. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that all what I do will never be good enough, and it makes me feel bad, to be honest. It makes me feel inadequate. I make mistakes, I am lazy sometimes, and I feel like it's really hard to be the perfect Muslim. 
I think it's not healthy, the way I'm feeling at the moment. Of course it's good to fear God in some way, but now I really have the feeling that whatever I do, I'll still have my bad sides, and still have arrogance, and so it will all lead to nothing. I'm just being honest. 


Do you have any advise? It would be much appreciated! ;)


Much love,


Safiyah



4 comments:

Banana Anne said...

I agree with your first point, that as long as you're actually trying to be the best Muslim you can be, then insha'Allah ALLAH will reward you in this life and the Hereafter. I just remember that ALLAH says in the Qur'an "And My Mercy encompasses all things" (7:156) and the hadith that says that's ALLAH's Mercy is greater than His Wrath.

New Wife said...

I think the fact that you are afraid is a really good sign... it means that you care and are sincere mashaAllah. Those that don't have fear usually don't have belief...

We have to keep in mind that in Islam you don't get to Jannah because of your deeds or anything that you yourself can do. If we go to Jannah it is because of the Rahma of Allah.

Even if you did every act of worship possible and were 100% perfect, still you would only be in Jannah by the mercy and grace of Allah, so continue being sincere and caring and inshaAllah Allah will have mercy on all of us ameen.

There is a story of a man who sat on a mountain for 500 years only worshiping Allah for every minute except when he would eat, drink, and rest. When he died Allah asked him do you want to go to jannah by your deeds or by my mercy? He felt that he had worshiped Allah in the best way a human could possibly worship Allah so he chose his deeds. When Allah put them on the scale they did not even equal the benefit he gained from one eye in this life... subhanAllah. He asked for forgiveness and asked to be granted the mercy of Allah. No matter how much we do in this life we can't earn a place in jannah because Allah has given us so many blessings that we could never hope to repay the balance. We do good deeds because we love Allah and are grateful for what He has done for us.

Always ask for forgiveness, strive to do your best, have the best intentions, and hope for the rahma of Allah.

Safiyah said...

Thank you, BananeAnne and New Wife, for your advise :) May Allah swt reward you, ameen.
Of course Allah's mercy is bigger than any of us can imagine, but I do get afraid sometimes that I might be doing something wrong. Then again, it's good to always strive to be a better Muslim and to seek a lot of knowledge. May Allah swt reward our efforts, ameen.

DD said...

yea, reading ahadith it becomes clear that you can be punished in Hell for one misdeed or be granted Paradise for one good deed despite a lifetime of wrongdoing. it really serves to remind us that it truly is Allah (swt) who will decide who goes where, and it ensures that we never think we have this deen down pat. it's good to fear. just strive to do your best and pray and hope for Jannah and Allah's (swt) forgiveness

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