Six days of wearing Hijaab

{ Wednesday, March 14, 2012 }
Assalaamu aleykum!

Last Thursday I started to wear hijaab, alhamdulillah. I had a second conversation with my mother, and I was under the impression that she was more understanding, so I decided to take my chance. However, this six days have not been easy at all. My mother has made a lot of fights with me, and has basically already ridiculed the whole concept of Islam in my face. I try to stay calm, but it seems she doesn't want to accept, or be seen with me, wearing hijaab. She already told me to not wear it when we have guests, when I go out with her or when we go to family. She gives me cold and disapproving looks, and it really gets to me. I've been feeling miserable and depressed because of her, or rather, because of my attachment to her. It's already hard to walk out the door with hijaab, because nobody wear hijaab in my neighborhood, and they stare at me as if I'm an alien. But that I expected, and I don't mind. But if I come home after that, and have to face a whole discussion with my mother, that's very hard for me.
But if all this will bring me closer to Allah swt, then it's worth it alhamdulillah.
I listened to a lecture by Yasmine Mogahed, and she said that everything that's causing you pain in your life, is a sign of wrong attachment. Because your primary attachment should be to Allah swt, and you should have faith in Him. He is the only One who can truly help you, and He is the best Protector.
So I should learn to let go of my need of my mum approving of me, because I think she never will. I should learn to only care about God's opinion of me. I can't say it's easy, but inshaAllah I will learn.

I also found a hijaab style, alhamdulillah.


MarieHarmony said...

Glad to read about your first days Safiyah. I imagine it is hard for you. Wrong attachment surely but when your parents disapprove your choices and make it difficult for you to live your life the way you want it, it's tough, very tough.
Stay close to Allah my dear. Keeping you in my prayers for some ease to come soon.
Take care dear. xxx

the other side of me said...

The video is so inspiring..thanks for sharing..and I really hope the path to Islam will be easier for you..Insya Allah..all da best sister :)

bosnishmuslima said...

Dear Safiyah,

I'm so happy to hear about your decision but also sad about your difficulties. I can imagine how hard it is but keep fighting and remember that you will be rewarded for every hardship you take espacially on Allah's way. Lately I had my first hijab anniversary and I feel so blessed. Allah swt. made it so easy for me alhamdulillah and I wish for you the same inshaallah. Since a few days I'm trying to finish a post about my experience with hijab but somehow never find enough time :S But soon inshaallah.
May Allah swt. bless you, reward you and make it easy for you. Ameen

CATGIRL !! said...

Safiyah u r suchhh a courageous girl..seriously i've been following ur blog for an year or so sometime sharing ur difficulties wid my family even..i was soo disappointed when ocne u were having doubts abt Islam..but u r bak wid a bang n u r a better Muslim than us who r by birth muslims..SubhanALLAH
love u sis !!

Bonnie said...

When I first started wearing hijab my Mum was exactly the same and there were certainly no Muslims in the town I lived in either. Well 18 months later and I doubt my Mum could care less anymore, it takes time and patience but insha'allah she will get used to it.

Zarina Hassem said...

You have been nominated for "THE Tribute Award". To find out more check out:

Safiyah said...

@ Marie: Thank you, dear! It's very tough, I agree. We all want to make our parents proud, and not cause them any hurt, and it seems that just by putting a scarf on my head I'm causing them a lot of pain. I don't want to hurt them, but I need to put God first.

@ the other side of me: You're welcome :) I really like Yasmin Mogahed's lectures, she's very wise mashaAllah. Ameen and thanks for the duaa! :)

@ Bosnishmuslima: ameen! :) I'm very happy that Allah swt made it easy for you :) Thanks for your support and happy anniversary! ;-)

@ Catgirl: Good to see you again! :) I do my best, but all praise belongs to Allah swt. If I'm a better Muslim now, it's because of His mercy and blessings :)

@ Bonnie: That must have been very hard on you. Alhamdulillah that your situation is better now :) I agree with you, but sometimes it's so hard to have patience when you feel misunderstood.

@ Zarina: Thank you! :-D

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