Think before you criticise

{ Wednesday, April 4, 2012 }

When we are about to criticise someone, let's stop for a moment and take the focus back on us. Are we fully relying on and trusting God? Are we really conscious of our reason for existing, to worship God? Do we have any sins that we need to repent for? Any blessings we haven't thanked God for yet? You see, there is plenty of work to be done before we can even think of judging someone else.
Wanting to tell others how things should be done can often be a form of arrogance, thinking we know better and that woman or man obviously hasn't understood how it should be done.
Arrogance doesn't befit a true believer. A true believer is humble, kind, merciful. Others don't have to fear her tongue or his actions. He/she is patient and understanding, and is fully aware that only God knows what is in other people's hearts, therefore He only can judge.
If we have a kind and sound heart, we'll instinctively know how to give advice to someone. We'd do it out of love, not out of conceit. We wouldn't use bad words or try to make the other person feel stupid/little/hurt. Our first concern wouldn't be winning an argument, but the other person's well-fare. That's the difference between nasiha and misplaced criticism, and other people will see and feel our intentions clearly. If we wonder why we can't get through to other people, maybe it's time to reflect on our motives. 
Knowledge about religion is there for everyone to find. It's not our job to force our take on things on anyone else. Of course, we can express ourselves, but it should be done in a well-defined space, where people can easily take it or leave it without feeling told off. That's why, if you don't like a certain blog, don't visit it, because the author does have the right to express himself/herself, and she/he isn't forcing you to read the content. There is no reason or justification to hate on someone just for having a different opinion. If that opinion would preach hatred and intolerance, just don't give that person the time of day. More hatred isn't going to solve anything. What's darkness except the absence of light? 
I used to read comments on blogs that were anti-Islam, and then reply to defend my religion. What I've learned from that experience is that it only sucks away your energy, and it doesn't change the other person's opinion one bit. If a person is determined to hate something, your comment isn't going to suddenly make him/her see the light. You'll only feel attacked and powerless, and that's not a position you want to be in. So just focus on your life, your beliefs, and let your example and good manners be the change you wish to see. People are just different, with different values, and no one can claim to have the one truth in his pocket. That's arrogance. We can always learn from each other, if we only remember to be humble, patient and kind, just as our Prophet (pbuh) was. 


MarieHarmony said...

Very nice post Safiyah and wise advice for all.
We tend to think our opinion is the best one, when each individual can have its own.
What is important to keep in mind is respect and tolerance for each other. We can all learn and change opinions too sometime, see things form a different perspective.
We should look at ourselves first, we have enough to improve. I remember a prayer by Soeur Emmanuelle (in French) - part of it says: "Accorde-moi encore d'avoir autant d'enthousiasme pour le succès des autres que pour le mien,
et de faire un tel effort pour me réformer moi-même que je n'aie pas le temps de critiquer les autres."

Thanks Safiyah, there is food for thought here. Take care dear and have a lovely day!

Safiyah said...

Beautiful quote, Marie =) People are so quick to criticise, often forgetting that good manners are more important than being right. Take care! xxx

Anne said...

I agree with you. We are all human beings and despite our many differences, it is more important to be kind than to be right, much less criticize another for not sharing the same opinion as we have. I wish more people would understand that. Good post and thanks by the way for following my blog :)

Safiyah said...

Thanks and you're welcome, Anne :) What you say is absolutely true!

jnana said...

This is a beautiful post. I often catch myself telling people what to do (I am alittle bit of a perfectionist) and then I regret it because it's like sending a message that others can't do it as well as me which is not true. One of my goals in life is to give advice only when needed and only if it is sincere.

(Thanks for visiting my blog)

MedinianBreeze said...

Thanks for the post Safiyati :)
If only people would keep what you mentioned in their heads, we would've been living in heaven already.
I really like your posts. So keep it up xxx

Safiyah said...

That's a beautiful goal, jnana! =) I really like your blog!

Safiyah said...

Thanks for passing by =) I know blogs are not your kind of thing :p xxx

Londoneya Eyan said...

Lovely soothing words sis, mashaAllah. Really reminds one's self to breathe, think calm thoughts, and control one's tongue.

Safiyah said...

Thanks Londoneya! =) I'm glad my post was beneficial to you!

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